but yeah, if i get through this course i can finaly start the job! on september 1st. well, if i pass the test that is.

Then for some other things, you have no idea how boring these days is! i try to kill time with Anime, but its just like… things doesnt want to be good! its pouring down rain 24/7 making it impossible to snorkle, why you ask? because freshwater + saltwater = zero vicebility when you stir them together (which i do when i swim through it) so yeah… its not much to do.. training for track and field aint no fun either.

about job? i start a course next week, which is gonna cost me a lot of money, and lasts for 3 days… i will end up as a security guard (or watchman as some call it) and thats quite a nice job, i will work nights and get extra paied for that. i have allso had my first dive this year, i do snorkel diving and hunt for fish with a speargun. me and my brother and some dutch people went out to the outer edges of the coast to swim, that means… small islands on one side, and wide open ocean on the other side, it was fun.

well, now that i have blogged, i sertanly hope a sertain person can give me a break for a while =P

looking for a house i have been, or, mabye not house.. more of an appartment or something, dont have money for a house =P and a job allso ofc.. i was planning on moving within the next month or two.. moving to Oslo, the norwegian capital, largest city in Norway.. yet its not that big compared to other things i have seen.. wish me luck

and now for something completly different… the weather. i never thought i would say this… but the weather is TO nice… yeah, its not your eyes deceiving you, i said it.. TO nice. with tempereatures up tp 35-40C + its to much, i even managed to burn myself here the other week, and i dont do that to often, so now im just waiting for some colder weather.. and mabye a day or two with rain.. would be awesome

This was it for now, i dont know when i will be back on, but yeah.. now you people who are reading this atleast know im allive ;P

now we are working with f(x)=2√3 sin πx – 2 cos πx,     x <0, 2> where we are supposed to make it into 4 sin (πx – π/6)

fun, eh? >.>

well.. this is not fun at all, but it is needed… and after im done with this im done with school, so its worth it ^^ though i wished for history.

graduating from school, summer vacation, and last entrance exam for the airforce, AND my birthday. can it be any better? nope, this is pretty close to as good as it can get, and its warm and nice to. anyways, now i only have one verbal exam left, my 3 written went extremly well, much better then suspected. and im turning 19 this year, 19 years old the 19th of june.

well, now im to tired to write more, i cant really consentrate and remember only like 3-5 words before the word im currently writing, good night =D

Non of these

she looked down at the scale. It looked endlessly far away, like looking down a deep, deep bottomless pit, where only suffering and problems waited. The number on the display just kept rising and rising, she held her breath while it increased, it felt like an eternity, and she had to let her breath out in the end. It did not feel good this waiting, she felt something gnawing in the depths of her soul, a worried feeling that started in the stomach, and slowly spread through the body. In the end she knew that the number that would appear did not mean anything, it was just a number, a number made up by other numbers, without a soul, without thoughts or meanings. People said she was thin enough, people whispered about her behind her back at school, on the street, at cafeterias, yes everywhere it was people whispering about how thin she was, and how awful it must be for her. But she knew it, it was not how thin she was the real whispering was about, that was only the whispering they let her hear on purpose that was about how thin she was. Its a long time since she got used to the whispering about her, she didn’t care, they can mean whatever they want. She had not had breakfast this morning, it would affect the scale. Its a long time ago she had stopped feeling the constant hunger she felt in the start when she decided to become as thin as everyone else, it had been painful, very painful, some days she had even skipped school due to it, just hadn’t managed to get herself out of bed, but it was all going better now.

There the scaled passed 30 Kg.

This morning she had awoken feeling worried, she couldn’t put a name to it. Not only had she had a nightmare all night, people that laughed at her, stood around her in a big crowd, known and unknown faces had been there, some only shadows of people. They pointed and laughed at her, this big, round ball of a human being, who had not been able to move herself away from this, just had to stay and listen. It was nothing else to this dream, it felt like an eternity and it was like it had no ending. She had awaken with the blanket on the ground, coldsweating around 5 in the morning. After this dream she had not been able to sleep again, she did not want to go back to the people laughing at her, she couldn’t do it. After 3 hours the worried feeling that she couldn’t name was so strong that she got up and went to the mirror. A pale figure looked back at her, deep eyes, small breasts, the ribs was clearly visible, everything was skinny and pale. While she had stood there watching her own self, it was as her hips had started to swell, followed by her stomach, arms and legs. They had just swelled bigger and bigger, like a bread in a oven. Horrified she could just stand there and watch before she turned her back in disgust from this hideous creature which had appeared in the mirror. Was this how everyone else saw her? It had to be like that, the way they stopped and whispered about her in the halls at school when she passed by, and everywhere else where she went. But she had been so skinny when she first saw herself in the mirror, a reflection cant just start growing like that. She concluded with that the first had to be an illusion, a wish she had, a visible daydream because she just had awaken from such a terrible nightmare, and that the true reflection must have come forth when she finally started to wake up. No, she had to be sure about this,so she had turned back and looked again, and there she was, a pale, chubby reflection glaring back at her. No this cant be true she had thought. She looked with disgust at the reflection a while, and it seemed like everything had swelled a little more.

There the weight passed 35, this was not good, and the worried feeling almost made her crumble.

While she had stood infront of the mirror she had thought back. What did she eat the other day? She concluded with that she had only had the lunch at school, that she had gotten up again at the bathroom about 30 min later, she couldn’t stand the feeling of food in her stomach, it was like a lead weight in her stomach, that slowly spread its weight through her body, the only reason she had eaten at school was to not stick out to much. She ended up with that she had not eaten anything the other day, nor the day before that either, some salad she had gotten down, and the school lunch, that she forced back up soon after. She looked in the mirror one more time. The dream might not have been to wrong. The reflection stared empty back at her. Had only the reflection she saw first been staring back everything would have been ok and no problems, but it was not, it had been to good to be true, the thin limbs that had been there could impossible be her.

There the scale passed 40, but did it not go much slower now?

She had looked in the mirror again, and saw that the reflection had swollen a little more. It could not be true, it had to be something wrong in her head somewhere, so she decided to find the instrument she hated the most in this world, the scale. Nothing good ever game out of the scale, it bothered her in her dreams and she never liked using it, but now she was there, above this bottomless pit.

43, 44, 45. There it stopped, 45 Kg. She collapsed on the floor, a tear fell down her cheek. Two weeks ago, when she last used this instrument of torture, it had shown 43. No more lunch at school. She went back to her room and sat down on her bed, couldn’t stand anymore, just wanted to go to sleep and never again wake up. She wished she was lighter, she wished she was skinny, she wished she was more popular, but no, she was non of these.

Now good job reading trough this if you can read this, please do comment if you liked it, or did not like it =) comments are allways welcome

]]> http://raniets.wordpress.com/2009/05/31/my-exam/feed/ 1 Raniets http://raniets.wordpress.com/2009/05/28/purple-people-eaters-and-school/ http://raniets.wordpress.com/2009/05/28/purple-people-eaters-and-school/#comments Thu, 28 May 2009 12:08:02 +0000 Raniets http://raniets.wordpress.com/?p=25 ]]> My new song, Purple people eater, look it up =P anyways, awesome song, i have been thinking about it a lot and it just keeps sirculating my mind, cant really get ridd of it, listening to it right now infact.

anyways yeah, got a friend nagging me to write, so im writing, writing like crazy x.x so i have to write to get peace, btw… purple people eaters is not a song to listen to while writing a blog, makes  consentration very hard, belive me.

so what should i write about? well, im gonna write about planning for the future, just because my friend who is bored and nagging me to write dont really have many plans. Plans for the future, on what to do after school etc. is VERY immportant, atleast i belive so. without a plan you get lost, utterly lost and then you get stressed cause there are hundreds of paths opening up before you. you can sort of look at it like driving on a highway, when you suddenly get 100s of exits with bad and confusing marking and you end up stoping to figure out where the hell you want to go. with a plan most of these roads will be closed due to care accidents or repair work, and only 1 or 3 roads will be open, easy pick (yes think about that you nagging friend =O) i myself have made my self plans for life, A through F, at the moment i am working at plan A, after june it will be decided if i can keep following plan A or have to swap to plan C and B (they walk hand in hand) one og these plans ought to work. so yeah you readers, get plans for life and avoid a lot of stress. i have had my plan A and B for… (atleast A) about 6 years now.

besides that a really annoying problem have showed up. i can not download any torrents anymore. i was hoping this would pass during the night, cause it suddenly happend yesterday, out of the blue, noe idea why… but yeah… i have 15 files just waiting to get downloaded! but i cant to anything about it cause they wont downloade. so i tried to find the person in charge of my internett to question him, but ofcorse im to late for that and he has left for the day… so now i have to wait till tomorrow. and if i know this person well enough i know that nothing is gonna be fixed… what to do, what to do x.x i dont have a unlimited amount of anime and i will run out if its not fixed very soon!

my next exam is this upcoming Wednesday x.x (wednesday 27th may)

so what does this have to do with the meaning of life? simple… if you do a quick analysis of the phrase you find out that the tunnel represents your life… you just keep walking forward every day, trying to reach that end. Everyone knows that through life you will face hardships, challanges and things you wish you could avoid, this is the train, atleast as i see it. to avoid it you can sqeese up against the wall and wait for it to pass, though sometimes you might find the tunnel more narrow then usual or the train might move faster, or just a nice combination of those things. so what happens when you really reach the end of the tunnel? well… then you die, in most cases of old age, but some people might have a shorter tunnel then other for various reasons, like canser etc.

so now, what is the meaning of life then? When you face this Train, you have two choises, you can either dodge it by squeesing yourself up against the tunnel wall and wait for it to pass, or you can get splattered by it and end up as a red splatter on the front of this train. so i will with this singel phrase say that “The meaning of life is to not end up as red splatter on the front of a metaphorical train and walk out of the tunnel the normal way”

Hey world indeed…

i have decided to start bloging, again… i have tried before yes, but i never really get started with it… in other words im not good a writing blogs.. or so i belive myself, you who reads this might be of a whole other opinion.

why i started again was becaue i read through another blog. reading other blogs really kicks my head in to thinking “daaaaamn… i want to do this to” but i usually ends up writing one post… like this… then just forget about the whole thing..

sidetrack: oooo… i just noticed this thing saves drafts… nice o.O

back to subject: but yes, i promise i will try this time. so ill just update you all with my current IRL(In Real Life, yeah i dont see internet as a real life, just part of it) i have plenty of exams, and is graduating from what we Norwegians call 3rd year of “Videregående skole” its equal to 1st year college in USA if that makes more sence, and after this i can chose to go to univeristy, or just throw school away forever… lucky me that did not have to take the Math exam, heard from friends it was a pain far up in the arse, so the exams i will be taking is Norwegian main language, Norwegian 2nd language(yes we norwegian have 2 languages and is educated in both) and Physics… then i have a unkown verbal exam in either Math, Norwgian, History(dear god(s) let me get this), Religion or physics.. one of these.

so yeah.. thats about it, just look by every now and then and ill try to write something every now and then =P

Cheers^^